What Am I Holding On To?

What belief am I holding now that no longer serves me?

Mary Oliver tells us:

To live in this world 
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it
go, to let it go.

In my life experience, especially during my youth, I learned via the modeling of my parents and teachers to respect adults. In my professional life, as a Montessori educator, I learned to respect everyone, especially very young children. Teachers had the deepest influence in my life. Not just professional teachers, but also mentors and spiritual guides. God blessed me exceedingly by the gifts of these beautiful people. But I became a person who needed the approval of selected others to feel empowered and competent for a long time. This experience had value for a phase in my life.

As I grew spiritually and emotionally through mindfulness and meditation, I came to understand that life can be full and meaningful without regular affirmation from others. This insight deepened my trust in God and helped me release the belief that my worth depends on other people’s approval—or their lack of it. I no longer hold that belief. God has shown me that what matters most is to love God and to love myself. Loving oneself is not selfish; it is the cornerstone of loving others.

Oliver’s words invite us to notice what we are holding close and to discern whether it still gives life. Letting go does not erase the value something once had; it can be an act of gratitude, trust, and spiritual freedom.

Consider Mary Oliver’s message: How does it make you feel, and does it invite you to let it go?

Sister Leonor J. Esnard, OP
Miami, Florida