Sister Mary Connelly
1920-2911
The title of Sister Mary Connelly’s 2010 annals was “My Life of Prayer and Presence.” At the wake Sister Patricia Dulka, Prioress of Dominican Midwest Mission Chapter said,
This title, this phrase, became all too familiar in my interactions with Sister Mary. Whenever I would ask her to pray for someone or for a special intention, she would always say, “Of course, Honey! This is what I can do. My life is a life of prayer and presence.”
Mary was born in Chicago, on August 23, 1920, the daughter of Minnie (Noetzel) and James Joseph Connelly, and baptized Mary Imelda. She received a German heritage from her mother and an Irish heritage from her father, who was one of Chicago’s “finest,” a police sergeant. The family also included three other children, Edith, June, and James.
Both parents were strong Catholics, and sent their children to Catholic schools. Mary began her education at St. Thomas the Apostle School. When the family moved into St. Ailbe Parish on Chicago’s South Side, she continued her elementary education at St. Ailbe School. She graduated from eighth grade in 1936, and began her secondary years at Aquinas High School, taught by the Adrian Dominicans. Love and reverence for her Dominican teachers filled her life, and she conceived a great desire to join them. Her parents did not stand in her way, and were happy with her choice.
At the end of her junior year, on June 23, 1938, at the age of eighteen, she arrived in Adrian and entered the postulate. With her group, she received the habit and her religious name (Sister James Joseph, a name taken for her father and brother) on January 3, 1939. She professed her first vows on January 4, 1940.
For ten years she taught in Detroit schools. Within a short time of profession she was on her way to teach third and fourth grades at St. Theresa School for a year. She then spent three years at St. Edward School, teaching on all the primary levels. Beginning with 1944, she again taught on all primary levels at St. Dominic School for six years. During these years, she studied during the summers at Siena Heights College (now University) in Adrian. In August 1949, the College awarded her a bachelor’s degree with a major in history and minors in English and math.
In 1950 she was at St. Bernard School in Alpena, Michigan. After two years she was transferred to Sacred Heart School in Munising, Michigan, where she taught in the middle grades for the next six years. Sister Patricia McKee was also missioned at Sacred Heart. She wrote:
She was outgoing and had a wonderful sense of humor. She was also a prayerful woman. I would often stop in chapel after school, and she would be there praying or saying the Stations of the Cross.
There were eight of us in the house. She taught sixth grade. I was always amazed at how great she was in knowing families. She was like a walking encyclopedia. She knew everyone and something about everyone. . . . The thing I most remember about Sister Mary was that she never forgot you as a person. She was always warm and welcoming.
Sister Mary’s only time outside the Midwest was a two-year span in Cheektowaga, New York, as an eighth grade teacher at Mother of Divine Grace.
In 1960 she returned to the Midwest, but to Illinois, where she ministered with seventh graders at St. Albert the Great in Oak Lawn for five years. While she was there, in 1961, her father died and she was a source of comfort to her bereaved family. She moved to Harvey, Illinois, in 1965 as eighth grade teacher at Ascension School. After the renewal in 1968 she spent every weekend with her mother. Her sister June had married late in life, but after June’s husband died she moved in with her mother. Since June was also suffering from illness, Sister Mary continued spending the weekends with the two of them.
Sister Mary had been studying at De Paul University in Chicago during the summers, and in 1972 she was awarded a master’s degree in education and a certificate in guidance. At that time she received an invitation from Sister Patricia Gallagher, who was principal of Regina Dominican High School in Wilmette, Illinois, to work in the guidance program there. She accepted the invitation, and began almost thirty years of service at Regina.
Sister Marie Bride Walsh, a good friend of Sister Mary, began ministry at Regina High School in 1976. At that time there were twenty-three sisters serving 900 students. As the years went on, the number of sisters and the enrollment decreased. However, Sisters Mary, Marie Bride, and Marion O’Connor continued living in Regina Convent together. Sister Marie Bride wrote:
We had some good times together. She enjoyed a good time. We went on some nice trips. One time we went to The Abbey in Lake Geneva for breakfast. My niece had an all-year-round place, and she would let us have it for a few days. Another time we went to Cassapolis during the Notre Dame football season. We went there for the weekend and watched the game on TV. I enjoyed it but the other two didn’t like football that much. Sister Mary was careful with her money. She would never spend that kind of money on a ticket to a football game.
She was easy to live with. . . . When she was there, and we were working part-time, she would take a turn cooking. We ate at 4:30 pm and she would start the dinner at 1:00 pm.
Patricia Mackin, who was in charge of the counseling department at Regina, remembered Sister Mary’s performance as a counselor.
She was a friend and a loving champion and supporter of my work. I occasionally found her counseling techniques to be quite unique. She would say to a student, “Honey, you have to go to class if you want to graduate this June and I am going to make sure you are attending each and every one.” And she was true to her word. She would track the girl down and see to it that she made her classes. Her favorite saying was, “Honey, all this and heaven, too.”
There was a student who, during her time at Regina, was always in some kind of trouble in and out of school. She had poor grades, and there was the possibility of not graduating from Regina. Sister Mary saw something special in this student and fought for her at the numerous staffings called to determine whether this student should be allowed to remain at Regina. Sister Mary won.
I marveled at the appreciation shown by her counselees for her caring and loving attention. One time she received a Gucci bag from one of her students. When we told her how much Gucci bags cost, she looked at us in wide-eyed disbelief and said, “Well, I certainly hope she got it on sale!” As some of us know, Sister Mary was the Queen of Sales.
Sister Mary’s mother died in 1991 and her sister Edith Gasser died in 2000. These were times of grieving for her, June, and their brother Jim. In 2001 Sister Mary retired and joined June in her residence in Dyer, Indiana. June was suffering many health problems. During that year, they also lost their brother. On one of her annals forms Sister Mary wrote:
I care for my elderly sister June, who in better times shared with me many wonderful opportunities for travel and enrichment. A great blessing for both June and me is that being able to live in Dyer keeps us in contact with relatives (a variety of generations) who help us when we need assistance. The contacts are good for them, and certainly brighten our lives. Our days and weeks pass quickly with Saturday evening Mass and daily prayer using the Dominican Praise Book and our rosaries.
Friends keep me informed regarding individual, Mission Chapter, and Congregational news and needs. My thoughts and prayers request what seems best for us, and give thanks for all the blessings we receive.
The Dominican Midwest Mission Chapter has a program called “Sister to Sister” in which sisters volunteer their services. When Sister Mary found it very difficult to attend the meetings of the Janerose Mission Group to which she belonged, Sister Marie Bride offered to stay in touch with her and would call her every week. In her annals, Sister Mary wrote, “I am inactive in presence but very active in praying for the members and their ministries.” She had great devotion to the rosary. It was important to her to say all fifteen decades of the rosary every day.
Sister Noreen George also called Sister Mary frequently.
Telephone calls to Sister Mary were always brief. A few words about us, a run-down of her activities of the day—caring for June, shopping with her good neighbor, perhaps dinner with Tom, Kathy, and family, saying the Office, praying the rosary, enjoying the dog Peppy. Then, “Thanks for calling. I’ll remember you in my rosary tonight. Goodbye.”
June succumbed to her last illness in October 2010. Sister Mary had made it know that if and when June died, she would return to Adrian. She kept this promise and returned to Adrian in November. There she resided at the Dominican Life Center/Maria until her death on March 3, 2011, at the age of ninety.
A wake-remembrance service was held for Sister Mary on March 6 in St. Catherine Chapel. Sister Patricia Dulka, Prioress of the Dominican Midwest Mission Chapter, extended sympathy and welcomed the relatives and friends who had gathered to honor her life. Sister Patricia summarized Sister Mary’s life and ministry, and spoke of how much she loved her family. “It was wonderful that her oldest sister had children. Sister Mary loved to talk about her niece and her nephews, her many great-nieces and great-nephews.”
She called to the podium friends who wished to share a remembrance.
Sister Noreen George shared memories. A part of what she said is:
If Mary ever knew you in childhood, as part of her family, as a member of your crowd, as your teacher, as your guidance counselor, as your parishioner, as your neighbor, or as your friend, she never forgot you and could probably relate some anecdotes about your association with her. Her memory was phenomenal! It was also selective—she remembered only the good or best about you. Mary loved being an Adrian Dominican Sister. She treasured being part of her family. She appreciated her Irish heritage.
Sister Patricia McKee wrote:
Sister Mary was from Chicago and I felt that she took a “sisterly” interest in me because I also was from Chicago. [When I was in Detroit] my dad came to see me every month, and would often call the Connelly’s to see if they wanted to drive with them or if they had a message for Sister Mary.
Her mother wrote her a letter every day. When Advent and Lent came along, she would number her letters so that Sister could read them in order.
Patricia Mackin read part of a letter from a former Regina student whom Sister Mary had saved from being expelled from Regina.
“Sister Mary, I want to thank you for all that you did for me and the confidence you had in me when there was no evidence to prove that I would ever be anything. Please show this to all those who never thought I would make it in this world.” Along with the letter was a graduation program from Loyola University. The girl’s name appeared with an asterisk indicating that she had graduated Magna cum Laude. She also shared that she was accepted into law school and was engaged to a boy who was accepted into medical school.
Jason Gasser, Sister Mary’s nephew, said:
Aunt Mary was the backbone of the Connelly’s. When she asked you a question, she knew the answer to it before you told her your answer. She had relentless energy to teach us how to live life to the fullest. Her love for life was pure and simple. And she loved all the people with whom she came in contact over the years. Her strength and her heart of gold will be missed by our family and those who knew her.
Tom and Josh Gasser, Sister Mary’s great nephews and sons of Jason, together prayed an Irish prayer for Sister Mary. Tom also said:
Aunt Mary had a little dog named Peppy. We always saw him over the years when we went to see her. I wondered how he could live so long. Now I know that she had a lot of dogs, all named Peppy.
Sister Mary’s funeral was celebrated on March 7, Father Robert Kelly, Motherhouse chaplain, was the presider and homilist.
We will miss Sister Mary, but we rejoice that her life of prayer and presence has culminated in her life with God.